Some girls are just born with glitter in their veins


worth it

May 11, 2014 Love4JLK

midnight I don’t often put music on when I write but tonight I did… this is playing… now officially mothers day. I wanted to avoid this moment. now I want to avoid sleep. I don’t want to wake up without her. When I pulled out the next size up of girl clothes there was one pair […]

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I did it. I think I did ok. Most importantly though I really enjoyed it.  For me this was a bit of a test to see how I did with public speaking and if I did ok.. did it feel right. ..? My goal was to hopefully make a change. I am so grateful that […]

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right now

May 9, 2014 Love4JLK

First time public speaking tonight. Excited but nervous. .. My hope is just that I make a impact. I went for a run this morning. I haven’t done that in awhile.. been loving Cross Fit too much. But I am really glad I did. It centered me.. and relaxed me too. Thank you to Mamas […]

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May 8, 2014 Love4JLK

Sickness.. another post death milestone we are in the midst of. Nicholas got sick. No idea what it is.. and Charlotte seems to be suffering also… though very differently. He is way better today.. Last night was child loss support group. My sister and her family had our 3 littlest kids. We me up at […]

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May 6, 2014 Love4JLK

I feel like I am circling  the drain right now… my muscles tightened and ready to snap. .. surviving only as a reflex. Its like so much is hitting at the same time. Tony being back at work was the least of it actually. I did ok with it. Set little goals like getting our […]

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May 5, 2014 Love4JLK

See you at dinner. That’s what Tony said to me tonight before he went to bed. Tomorrow is his first day back to work. Its going to be a rough transition for all of us. His work has been so good to us.. they are allowing him to come back slowly, 3 days a week. […]

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May 4, 2014 Love4JLK

We all miss her. At different times in different ways.. but there is a constant current ..i miss her… flowing through our household. Yesterday i saw the first offering from baby Charlotte in Jennifer’s room. One of her lovies. 4th kid I finally got smart and bought a bunch of the blanket animal she was […]

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May 2, 2014 Love4JLK

A good therapist and an attentive husband can really fuck up your morning! We had counseling this morning. I figured it would mostly be focused on Tony’s concerns for going back to work…Apparently not. Somehow we ended up on the topic of my guilt.. the subject of my blog last night that Tony doesn’t even […]

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do over

May 1, 2014 Love4JLK

Everything is hard… everything reminds me of her. I just really want to have an experience where its not hard.. do i really? will I just be overwhelmed with guilt that day? We went to Ikea last week. Our kids are outgrowing the table we have..When she was in treatment we went there one time. […]

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next day

April 29, 2014 Love4JLK

The next day.. Other parents at our bereavement said the Monday after camp is hard… I thought we would slide past that since we are still fully immersed in child loss … no breaks. This weekend wasn’t a rare chance to talk about her death for us.. we still get to do that a lot.. […]

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